Swerve is a wrap

As Brian said in the beginning of his post, where to begin? I am much inclined toward two basic approaches in discussing the movie-making experience: 1) Give in-depth accounts of every rememberable moment whilst on set. 2) Say, simply, 'it was pretty cool, and I now feel more confident than ever that we're making a quality piece of art.'

I had the pleasure of serving in a multitude of roles:

I was a stand-in for Abby and Ryan.

I took the actors' jackets.

I gave the actors water.

I picked up toilet paper, cups, expensive LCD projectors, film, lights, pizza, water, mexican food, etc.

I was an extra. I got to sit with two pretty girls and mouth words silently. I generally said things like 'I need to go to the bathroom' or 'would you like to go make out behind the fence' or 'two of you, one of me, this could be fun!' Unfortunately, both pretty girls were attached to certain males within the context of what we Americans call 'relationships'. (I had a dream about making out with both girls at the same time that night, though they were both present in the body of one girl).

I moved things from one place to another.

I gave back massages to the Assistant Director and a couple of girls.

I flirted with a) the make-up girl, b) the 18-year-old Indian art-department assistant, c) the director of photography, d) the director's girlfriend, e) the line producer's girlfriend, f) the lead actress, g) the unit production manager, h) the line producer, i)the shorter, stouter, of the camera-operating Patricks

I sat in a chair next to the sound guy and witnessed the transformation of the words I had written into an everlasting visual and auditory format known as 'film.'

I teared up when Amy gave the speech in the park.

I bought VHS tapes the night before the first day of shooting. I, quite idiotically, bought the wrong kind of VHS tapes (I should've bought the normal, blank kind, but, instead, bought the kind used for a camcorder. wtf?) So, the morning of the shoot, I was sent on a mission: find a blank VHS tape before 7:00 a.m., when the shooting starts. I tried Randalls: out. I tried Walgreens: closed. I tried Albertsons: out. Next to the Albertsons was a Blockbuster that ostensibly didn't open until 10:00 a.m., but there were people inside. I ran over to the window. I knocked loudly on the glass front door. There were three people inside. The man raised his hands in a motion saying 'we don't open until ten.' I paced back and forth, worried, uncertain of what to do. I pounded on the glass again, motioning with a come-hither finger for the store employee to talk to me. I shouted, 'we're making a movie! We're making a movie!' as my fists pounded ecstatically against the shuddering glass. The employee looked bothered and bewildered and came closer. "Look, I need a blank VHS tape for an independent short film called Swerve. We're shooting at 7:00 a.m., and I need a blank VHS tape. Just give me one." "Sorry, I can't do that. Try a grocery store." "Look, I've tried every grocery store between here and the devil's anus-hole, and they're all out, or they're closed. There's nothing within miles of here. I need a VHS tape, and I need it now. I'm making a fucking movie!" "I'm sorry, man, I'm just inventory. I don't really work here." "I have five bucks. Just get one for me. I'll pay you. You'll figure it out. I need this. Now." "Sorry." "Forget you, douchebag. Blockbuster? More like You're as dumb as a block, buster."

Then I jumped dukes of hazardishly back into my car, sped away to evil Walmart, running through the aisles like a dying rabbit looking for food, I found the VHS tapes, ran to the checkout line, shoved my way to the front, slipped that credit card through that slider, got my tapes, ran out the front door, and zoom zoom zoom drove as fast as I could back to set, cursing traffic and raising my hands in angry ecstacy, firing beams from my eyes of 'move faster!' to moms with kids in minivans, shooting bolts from my mouth of 'why'd you have to die Today, motorcycle guy!' I pedaled to the metalled my way to
my destination, and, breathing heavy with stress and excitement, handed the beautiful blank VHS tapes to the camera-dude.

They ended up not using them because the VCR took too much energy.

I do think, maybe, that the presence of the writer on set was a good thing, especially since I was doing so much grunt work. I think it definitely let everyone know that the creators of the film are passionate about it and willing to do whatever it takes to help the movie get made. There were times, of course, when I had nothing to do, and was napping or getting a back massage from a pretty Indian girl. During these times, PA Paul would say, 'Being the writer is the way to go.'

When talking with people about the film, whether on set or at the light-shop, I often talked about the experience of working with PJ. "He's such a great guy," and "you'll know your film's going to look awesome" were phrases heard frequently. I have figured out the true nature of the situation, however. Everyone has a crush on PJ, but doesn't realize it, or isn't willing to admit it. Even the manly mumbling muscular mechanical guys, deep down, want some PJ lovin'. Brian admitted that he himself has a kind of crush on PJ, which is significant, because even though Brian Is half-woman, his naughty-bits are All man.

I felt awkward just now.

"PJ transcends sexuality," Brian says. "He's an angelic being," Brett says, half-jokingly. "It's true," says Brian.

The actors did an awesome job. It's amazing to me that we were able to get so much quality for 500 bucks (well, 825, if you include the microphone that Chris Doubek broke while he was in the bathroom). Amy and Chris have very different acting styles, and there were a couple of moments when that difference, combined with the deeply emotional nature of the material and the emotive differences between the characters, created some tension/stress. But Brian, who did an excellent job as director in all facets, as far as I could tell, talked them through it, and I think their performances were, in a way, better for it.

Film sets draw my favorite types of people: artsy folk and geeks. (my best friends, uncoincidentally, Noah [Colorado] and Brian [Texas], are both rare combinations of artsiness and geekiness...Brian has the non-jockish athlete-iness thrown in there too, which is nice)

I really liked sound-guy Chris. He was laid-back, funny, unassuming, and obviously good at what he did. I like Nathan too, but his job on the set was to be an asshole, so I didn't spend too much time joking around with him.

In fact, I got along well with most people on the set. Nobody tried to make out with me. I guess that means I'll have to fly back to Austin for the wrap party. I talked with Scott Kembrough for a while, and didn't realize he was the Scott Kembrough of many vague allusive conversations with the Fred Brian clan.

James and Tracy are rockstars.

Speaking of rockstars, I bought one on Monday, the last day of shooting. I was unloading food from El Mercado, so I put my Rockstar on the ground next to the tire. When I came back to the car, my Rockstar was gone. I then saw a bum take a swig of it, dump the rest out, crumple the can, and put it in his grocery cart. I can't believe a bum stole my rockstar!

I was, deep down, always worried that the lab would look cheesy. It doesn't. Many of our coolest shots come from that scene. I still am somewhere worried or wondering if the audience will be unable to figure out what's going on, and then they might let that ruin the movie for 'em.
eh, screw 'em.

Seeing the filmmaking process, I was encouraged that the look and sound of the film will be professional. After my tirade against Pure, I was deepdown afraid that my own movie would somehow stoop to that level of awfulness, and I would be a hypocrite screenwriteur. I am now quite confident that the movie will look great and sound good. And the actors did a pretty darn good job. So the success of the film now rests firmly back on the shoulders of the screenplay. eek. I don't know, I think it isn't bad. I suppose there may be a couple of lines in there that I might change or maneuver around "bootlaces and spandex feels awkward to me all of a sudden..." but, all in all, Brian and I are geniuses.

Last thing:

we're making a movie about 'the one that got away.' I've had two get away, (though only one would I want to come back...and three if you count Evan) In any case, Both Carly Ritter And Arianne Gold Called me out of the blue, after months of non-communication, while I was working on the movie.

Funked up.

Well, I'm going to Swerve my way on out of here.

check out filmjunkies.blogspot.com for pictures.