Wisdom of Ron

Ron Silliman, pre-eminent langpo post avant blogging-king, said that his New Year's resolution will be to 'Blog less, blog better.' Similarly, mine may be something like 'blog shorter, more often, and better.' The people want quirky little snapshot snippets on a frequent basis, not the uber-long Diaretic run-ons which are my tendency. The people also like links and pictures. One step at a time, though. And the people like lists. So here's one:

1) Slash said he's looking forward to hearing Chinese Democracy when it comes out in March of '06. I don't know how he knows, being that he's been 'estranged' (NOTICE PUN) from his mentally-troubled-lead-singer-friend for a decade. If it's true, that means my plans for the screenplay entitled 'Killing Axl Rose,' about a crazed internet-obsessed GNR fan killing Axl so that Chinese Democracy will see the light of day, may never come to fruition.

2) Oh well, there's always the road-trip buddy movie starring William Shatner (the crazy uncle), Christopher Walken (the crazy uncle's crazier friend), and Topher Grace (the shy, smart, sensitive, never-spontaneous-until-now youngster running down a dream/girl). It was going to be Zach Braff, but I've decided to hate him.

3) I am still stranded in Estes Park. My car broke down (battery/alternator problems). Good thing it happened in the Safeway parking lot in Estes instead of on I-70 east over Vail Pass deep in long traffic and ice-riddled snow.

4) Crippled laughter. I like the phrase.

5) I need to study language poetry. While I disagree with its politics, intentions, and goals, I think there may be something to the manner of expression (relying upon process, mathematical sequences, etc.). It seems akin to my recent idea of 'unnatural' or 'invisible' structures. Combining such method with more classical/universal/essential ideas and forms may bring about something of intrigue.

6) I have been writing a poem without the use of nouns, (except pronouns), verbs (except to-be verbs), adjectives, and adverbs. These parts of speech, of course, can be Created by combinations of prepositions, etc. (down-abouts, for instance, meaning 'phallus' or 'cock'). The first line and fifth lines are:

Once upon a we she was...
And now was her because.

The poem is of five-line stanzas, iambic, (tetrameter, trimeter, dimeter, dimeter, trimeter), rhyme scheme A B B B A, and it is, of course, about a chick, and losing said chick to other dude, about chick losing other dude, and ending up everyone with nothing. Or something. I just wanted to use 'down-abouts,' really. Also, it's incomplete, and probably sucks.

7) My first night sleeping in civilization, I woke up thinking I was still outside, with some vague ghost figure wearing a headlamp off in the distance fiddling with his hands (was probably a streetlight viewed through the window). When I realized where I was, however, I still saw the man with the headlamp on. Then I went back to sleep.

8) I still am convinced that I saw a billboard while driving from Austin to Dallas which said 'We Clean Up Suicides, So You and Your Family Don't Have To.' Another screenplay-idea is in the works with this, about a morbid kid who joins up with that company as an employee to study the best ways to commit suicide, then comes to some realization of the beauty of life, then decides not to kill himself. Then maybe he gets hit by a car, if I wanna be silly about it. Could be good for a 'oooh, artsy/depressive/quirky/beautiful' short. Maybe he has a desert landscape inside his penis too.

9) Most exciting part of my job so far: tracking down and catching a criminal as he ran through the woods, doing so in five minutes, astonishing the prison-children with my trackstar speed, receiving many high-fives and 'kick ass'es from my hardcore coworkers for a job well done.
Shittiest part of my job so far: sleeping next to a kid on suicide watch who was shitting himself all night long. A quote from three in the morning ('grump' is our word for 'bathroom' and 'shit'):
Student M: "Brett, can I use the grump?"
Staff B: "You sure you have to go?"
Student M: "Yeah man, I gotta go bad."
Staff B: "Alright. Go for it."
Student M: "...Oops."

10) Yeah, yeah, I know this was 'long,' but it covered a lot of territory and was broken up with the list-format, and I have little else to do right now. Also, if you're reading this, you're Brian, so you're probably interested in this sort of stuff, even if it is repetitive.

10.5) Matt Nania, if you are reading this too, I Will be marrying your sister someday. No joke. You Know I'd be a caring husband, a fun brother-in-law, and an awesome 'wacky-but-endearing' uncle for your future children. I also have a beard that, when dyed white, would turn me into a splendiferous skinny-hippie-Santa. The Nania-clan needs some Swanson in it, and you know this...so help a brutha out!